A few days ago I wrote a post about a follower of mine who seemed to have elaborately trolled me. He had told me that his sister attended the same college which I had graduated from which made me very excited as I went to a very small university. Running into other graduates or student from my college is an extremely rare occurrence.
I was naturally very excited.
It turned out that the whole story was a lie. When I visited my college earlier this week to visit my favorite professor I then took some time to go search for this follower’s sister. She was nowhere to be found and further no student with her name or with a name anywhere close to it had ever attended the school.
I thought that was strange.
I went to my stream and asked around as to what happened. Maybe he got confused with my college’s name? No, surely that was not possible. After all there currently is only one Thomas Aquinas College and we had talked about the area in which it is located. But I didn’t want to think that he had lied to me yet. I trusted this fan.
After all I thought we had a connection.
But then he came in my show and told me that he had trolled to me. And that he couldn’t believe that I had fallen for it. I was extremely disappointed, and I informed him of that very clearly. Over the next day or two I thought a lot about what happened. I just couldn’t wrap my head around why someone would play a joke on me like that. I mean it just didn’t add up. I understand shit talking, and calling people names, prank calls, and just in general offensive behavior.
I understand why people to normal trolling. I’m not defending it, but at least I get it.
But this was different. In this situation this follower and I had built up a relationship and we had talked regularly on my stream about my school, his sister, and etc. It seemed to me to be the potential beginning of a real in person relationship. I mean after all, we could just meet each other in real life at the annual school commencement ceremony. And that would be fun! Getting to meet a cool fan in real life! It’s what I love doing, it is a huge part of why I have stayed streaming, albeit I do it in limited fashion at this point.
But then it was all a lie. And it just did not make sense to me. There was a part of me that just could not believe that he trolled me in the way that he did. Why would he make such an elaborate lie about his sister and the school in the way that he did? He never once tried to scam me for money or anything else during this ordeal. So I wondered why he made this bond only to destroy it? I decided to call my parents and tell them what had happened. Quickly my Father had something very insightful to say.
He simply told me that most likely this person did not want to troll me, but rather he wanted to be my friend. He likely wanted to have a deeper connection with such that he made up stories with which he knew I would resonate to such that I would become more interested in a friendship with him.
He probably thought that I would never visit my school and if I did maybe it would be after she graduated so in effect he may not have gotten caught. Who knows, he could very well have just been trolling me after all. But I do think that this explanation makes more sense.
People do lie. And they lie all the time.
And they often lie for the strangest reasons. It is often the case not because they want to cheat someone out of something, but often enough because they just want to make a friend. Usually they are innocent lies such as that they went skiing on some mountain that they never have been too, or that they played baseball at this field back when they were younger which they didn’t, but these conversations almost always in effect build camaraderie between the two parties discussing.
It is a simple tactic that will build rapport, and in most cases no one will ever find out the truth.
That it is until they do. And then the liar is really in a hole. Because here is the biggest issue with lying and why it is so terrible. If someone lies once, then they might have lied twice, or they might lie again.
Trust is no longer possible.
And without trust people cannot maintain or have a quality relationship. This is the real fallout of lying. Just don’t do it. It really is not worth it. All it takes is for one lie to throw everything into doubt. Even if the lie itself is not important. Say such as that some person never actually went skiing in Aspen. Even though no one got hurt by this lie, anyone who is now aware of it will doubt anything that person says.
This is the natural fallout of lying.
But then with such risk, why do people do it? Well, I believe because many people out there just do not know how to socialize. Maybe they got screwed over in School and were bullied such that they had no friends, or they lived alone for a large portion of their life and are awkward socially, or for whatever reason were never particularly good at it. The bottom line remains the same, they just don’t know how.
But that doesn’t mean that they don’t want to. Au contraire, they want to socialize more than most others, and this is precisely because they lack it. So these people will go to any length to try to build rapport with others, especially lying. Just say that you did something or that you know someone that is mutual to another party and voila you already have friends. No other effort required!
But, as I stated earlier, this does not last. Eventually the truth comes out. And the consequences are disastrous. Usually the relationships implode permanently.
In the case of the follower, I believe he was jealous of the relationship that I had with his friend. Originally his friend was the one who watched my show and we struck up a camaraderie through discourse about how to be successful in the future. The follower then followed my advice which resulted in gaining an internship of which he was so excited he then recommended by show to his best friends. This is then where I met the follower who ended up lying to me.
I believe that new follower was jealous of the relationship that I had with his friend and thus came up with a story that gave him a mutual background such as mine such that I would become closer to him and to his friend. He then likely presumed that I would not catch him in his lie as I would not visit my old school, but when he realized that I was going to he found himself in a pickle. Instead of declare to me his lie, as that would likely be too embarrassing he decided to change his stance and then when he would get found out reveal that he never cared about me and was just fucking with me the whole time, which is then what happened.
Now, I cannot say for certain as to this being the motive, as only the follower himself knows the true motive, but I believe that this explains what happened in the most sensible manner.
People want to be accepted, and they will do anything to have that given to them: Even lie.
For those reading this, if you are someone who wants to be accepted by others, do not lie. Found your friendships upon truth. I do realize for some of you that this may be very hard. Some people are just not naturally apt to meet people and make friendships as others are, but this does not mean that it is impossible. It might require some more work, and honestly maybe some coaching from a professional to learn how to socialize better, but whatever you do, do it honestly and the correct way.
And you will be rewarded with real friends, and real relationships.