Being there in a time of need

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Today I received a call. It was from Alex. I was about to go to work. He said to me,

“I need your help.”

I looked at my watch. I had somewhere to be. But I could tell he was in a time of need. I knew that this was one of those moments in life where the rubber meets the road and that I had to be there for my friend. I asked what was the matter. He said,

“I locked my keys in the car, and the spare is at home and I could use a ride.”

I laughed and said of course man, I will be right on over. I called my boss first and told him the situation and he gave me the okay to come in a little bit. So then I swung by and picked him up my friend. We both hadn’t eaten breakfast yet so we stopped by a McDonalds on our way back to his house to get the spare the key. We recovered the key and then I dropped him back off at the car as I then drove into work.

It all worked out, and further it gave me something to write about.

I was glad Alex called me because after all I was able to help and it really was no big deal. He could have ended up calling auto club but then they would have to get into his car and charge him at the end of the process, but by calling me and since I was available, we were able to have a nice morning together and turn a lemon into some lemonade.

It got me thinking, as life events often do, that it is good to reach out to your friends in times of need, especially when they are small ones. I was happy to help out, and I was happy that he asked me to do so. Too often do we not reach out to our friends when in reality they would love to help us out.

It was not at all too much to ask for me to give him a ride.

When you think about it, how often do we get a call from a friend asking for a huge favor versus when friend calls asking for a tiny favor? I find the latter happens much less of the time than the former. But so often, when maybe we could use some help we think to ourselves that it would be too much to ask, and that maybe we don’t want to inconvenience our friends, or waste their time, etc., only to sometimes end up in messes later on that are way much more of a problem than they should have been due to us not asking for help in the first place.

So that is my nugget for today. If you need a little help, or a small favor, reach out to your friends. There is nothing wrong with that: in fact that is what friends are for. And for when your friends reach out to you for help, if it is manageable, extended yourself to them and help them out.

Heck, you might get a nice thank-you dinner out of it too.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

 

Hustle is Necessary

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Today marks the formal beginning of my work as a real estate agent. Why today? Well, because today is the day that I received my business cards. You can’t really conduct yourself in real estate, or any other white-collar profession, without them. Nothing screams unprofessional like not having a business card. As such, I decided to wait in letting people know I was a real estate agent until I had my cards in my pocket ready to give them.

I’m not interested in blowing leads.

But now that I am armed, and locked and loaded, it is now time for me to hit the ground running. This morning I attended my very first official meeting at Coldwell Banker where I was introduced to the other agents in attendance and was briefed on some market statistics, among other things. The president of the Southern California region, Jamie Duran was present and gave a fantastic speech. She further gave me great advice and inspiration as to how to get out there and get motivated to start my career in Real Estate.

It really is special when you get to meet a real role model.

She has the track record to prove it, and honestly exudes charisma as well. I was blown away. Listening to her stories about how she sells real estate and especially what she did walking neighbors when she first started out was particularly useful to me. She gave me a few different tips, and some stories of her own, but the most important tip she gave me was that meeting people is paramount. She said to me that as a new agent I really need to be meeting at least 25 people a day. So in other words,

I need to hustle.

So today begins that start. Not only am I off to seeing the people in my immediate sphere first, I am then planning where I can start going daily to maximize my exposure. I need to get into my routine of the places I will be where I can be seen. Otherwise, I won’t be meeting enough people to get the results that I need to get.

And it is all on the line now.

Now that I have my license, I am signed, and I have access to the MLS, it is now my time to get my act together and to get in gear. No more waiting around, no more holding period, no more excuses.

It’s time to get out there and to find people that are looking to buy or sell a house. This is not going to just come fall into my lap, much like anything else in life. If there is something that you want, you need to go get it. And this means developing a plan and then carrying it out.

For all those of you out there that have something you want to accomplish, start working towards it right now. Make your plan today, and then execute it the same day, or at the very least the next. Don’t wait and don’t make an excuse.

Just get it done.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

 

People Want to be Accepted

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A few days ago I wrote a post about a follower of mine who seemed to have elaborately trolled me. He had told me that his sister attended the same college which I had graduated from which made me very excited as I went to a very small university. Running into other graduates or student from my college is an extremely rare occurrence.

I was naturally very excited.

It turned out that the whole story was a lie. When I visited my college earlier this week to visit my favorite professor I then took some time to go search for this follower’s sister. She was nowhere to be found and further no student with her name or with a name anywhere close to it had ever attended the school.

I thought that was strange.

I went to my stream and asked around as to what happened. Maybe he got confused with my college’s name? No, surely that was not possible. After all there currently is only one Thomas Aquinas College and we had talked about the area in which it is located. But I didn’t want to think that he had lied to me yet. I trusted this fan.

After all I thought we had a connection.

But then he came in my show and told me that he had trolled to me. And that he couldn’t believe that I had fallen for it. I was extremely disappointed, and I informed him of that very clearly. Over the next day or two I thought a lot about what happened. I just couldn’t wrap my head around why someone would play a joke on me like that. I mean it just didn’t add up. I understand shit talking, and calling people names, prank calls, and just in general offensive behavior.

I understand why people to normal trolling. I’m not defending it, but at least I get it.

But this was different. In this situation this follower and I had built up a relationship and we had talked regularly on my stream about my school, his sister, and etc. It seemed to me to be the potential beginning of a real in person relationship. I mean after all, we could just meet each other in real life at the annual school commencement ceremony. And that would be fun! Getting to meet a cool fan in real life! It’s what I love doing, it is a huge part of why I have stayed streaming, albeit I do it in limited fashion at this point.

But then it was all a lie. And it just did not make sense to me. There was a part of me that just could not believe that he trolled me in the way that he did. Why would he make such an elaborate lie about his sister and the school in the way that he did? He never once tried to scam me for money or anything else during this ordeal. So I wondered why he made this bond only to destroy it? I decided to call my parents and tell them what had happened. Quickly my Father had something very insightful to say.

He simply told me that most likely this person did not want to troll me, but rather he wanted to be my friend. He likely wanted to have a deeper connection with such that he made up stories with which he knew I would resonate to such that I would become more interested in a friendship with him.

He probably thought that I would never visit my school and if I did maybe it would be after she graduated so in effect he may not have gotten caught. Who knows, he could very well have just been trolling me after all. But I do think that this explanation makes more sense.

People do lie. And they lie all the time.

And they often lie for the strangest reasons. It is often the case not because they want to cheat someone out of something, but often enough because they just want to make a friend. Usually they are innocent lies such as that they went skiing on some mountain that they never have been too, or that they played baseball at this field back when they were younger which they didn’t, but these conversations almost always in effect build camaraderie between the two parties discussing.

It is a simple tactic that will build rapport, and in most cases no one will ever find out the truth.

That it is until they do. And then the liar is really in a hole. Because here is the biggest issue with lying and why it is so terrible. If someone lies once, then they might have lied twice, or they might lie again.

Trust is no longer possible.

And without trust people cannot maintain or have a quality relationship. This is the real fallout of lying. Just don’t do it. It really is not worth it. All it takes is for one lie to throw everything into doubt. Even if the lie itself is not important. Say such as that some person never actually went skiing in Aspen. Even though no one got hurt by this lie, anyone who is now aware of it will doubt anything that person says.

This is the natural fallout of lying.

But then with such risk, why do people do it? Well, I believe because many people out there just do not know how to socialize. Maybe they got screwed over in School and were bullied such that they had no friends, or they lived alone for a large portion of their life and are awkward socially, or for whatever reason were never particularly good at it. The bottom line remains the same, they just don’t know how.

But that doesn’t mean that they don’t want to. Au contraire, they want to socialize more than most others, and this is precisely because they lack it. So these people will go to any length to try to build rapport with others, especially lying. Just say that you did something or that you know someone that is mutual to another party and voila you already have friends. No other effort required!

But, as I stated earlier, this does not last. Eventually the truth comes out. And the consequences are disastrous. Usually the relationships implode permanently.

In the case of the follower, I believe he was jealous of the relationship that I had with his friend. Originally his friend was the one who watched my show and we struck up a camaraderie through discourse about how to be successful in the future. The follower then followed my advice which resulted in gaining an internship of which he was so excited he then recommended by show to his best friends. This is then where I met the follower who ended up lying to me.

I believe that new follower was jealous of the relationship that I had with his friend and thus came up with a story that gave him a mutual background such as mine such that I would become closer to him and to his friend. He then likely presumed that I would not catch him in his lie as I would not visit my old school, but when he realized that I was going to he found himself in a pickle. Instead of declare to me his lie, as that would likely be too embarrassing he decided to change his stance and then when he would get found out reveal that he never cared about me and was just fucking with me the whole time, which is then what happened.

Now, I cannot say for certain as to this being the motive, as only the follower himself knows the true motive, but I believe that this explains what happened in the most sensible manner.

People want to be accepted, and they will do anything to have that given to them: Even lie.

For those reading this, if you are someone who wants to be accepted by others, do not lie. Found your friendships upon truth. I do realize for some of you that this may be very hard. Some people are just not naturally apt to meet people and make friendships as others are, but this does not mean that it is impossible. It might require some more work, and honestly maybe some coaching from a professional to learn how to socialize better, but whatever you do, do it honestly and the correct way.

And you will be rewarded with real friends, and real relationships.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

 

Accountability

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I have a question? Where the hell has accountability gone? It seems to me that it has truly gone missing and I have no idea where to find it. If you see it, please let me know that would totally make my day.

Being real, accountability is important. Let people know where you are and where you stand. Especially if you make mistakes. No one is perfect and trust me, us humans, really do understand that. We understand it so well that when another human acts as if they never make a mistake, we automatically know that that is total bullshit.

We all make mistakes. So admit them when you are caught.

It’s honestly so childish. Think about that. It’s childish. That is what kids do. They try to get away with all sorts of behavior and say that it wasn’t their fault or they place the blame on another kid. But growing up, ideally humans learn to accept their mistakes and admit when they make them, such that others can trust them and know that if they fail, and hopefully they won’t but we know they will at some point, then at least they will be accountable.

Why can’t more people be like this?

Why do people always blame other people for their mistakes, or for their errors. It totally frustrates me. And honestly because I am such an accountable person. If I make a mistake I will admit it. If I am late to work and you ask me if I was late I will not lie.

I tell the truth.

And you all should too. People will really like and respect you for it. And barring moral consideration, it is deeply practical as well. People can smell bullshit. Don’t think you are so smart that no one will fail to notice when you lie through your teeth. It is quite easy to tell, though I will admit some people are exceptional liars and very good at covering their tracks.

But even then, all it takes is one mistake to expose the charade.

So grow up everyone. Be accountable. Tell the truth, and admit your mistakes. And don’t be so afraid of doing so, after all,

“to err is only human.”

 

Start being accountable and Keep Smiling,

Nolan