Something to keep me busy

Today’s post is kind of silly but it’s also serious. It’s all about how I keep myself from going nuts.

The answer is to always think.

I always have something going through my head so I’m never bored. When I was young, and even at times when I was older, I thought about card games. Which cards I would draw and how to play them, and all the different scenarios.

Thinking about possible permutations would keep my brain engaged and gave me something to dwell on when nothing else was going on.

A sort of way to stay creative if you will.

When I bought my Subaru STI hatchback the mental games really turned up a notch. I moved from cards to car parts. And my wallet took a hit.

But this has proven to be a great way to keep my brain busy. Cars are infinite sources of change and modification. So many things to change like tires, wheels, suspension, body kits, tunes, towhooks, etc.

The list literally goes on forever. It’s amazing. It always gives me something to think about, even when I don’t ever actually purchase anything.

Oddly enough, when I had my BMW M4 there was nothing to do. The car was already such a beast what was I to upgrade? The suspension was insane, the horsepower was more insane, the body kit already was outfitted with carbon fiber, and the wheels were beyond clean. There was nothing to change, and this nothing to think about.

But then it got totaled.

So it was back to the drawing board with getting a new car and this time around I decided to lower the monthly payment. I suck with BMW and the 4 Series but instead of another M4 I was more responsible and went with the 435i. And this car is nice. Totally outfitted with the technology package, the convenience package, heated seats, heads up display, and the M-Sport package along with M-Sport brakes.

But still it ain’t no M4. As such, there are lots of things to things to think about again.

Hooray! I guess it all worked out lol.

So now I spend the time when my brain isn’t occupied with work or something necessary with thoughts on modifying my car.

What I am thinking about now is sort of a pipe dream, but hey that’s the point, a man can dream right?

So here’s the list everyone. Feel free to send me the money by PayPal if you want to help a brother out.

Bronze TE-37 Volks Wheels

KW-3 Coilovers

JB4 Berger Motorsports tune

I haven’t made my mind up on the tires, and there will always be something else but what I am trying to do with my 435i is keep it looking really classy and low key but have it be much more than what meets the eye. The Volks obviously would make it pop and man I think white on bronze just looks fly. Black wheels are cool but as my friend John says,

“Just played out too much.”

The coil overs are definitely necessary because I won’t lie, the suspension in the 4 series just flat out isn’t stiff enough. Something needs to be done.

Change that and add a Berger tune? We’re talking another 80+ HP just with stock parts only? Oh man this is now a whole new car.

Well, at this point it’s time for the stream so I’m going to head on over there. Stop by and watch sometime people. We can talk about car parts too.

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

Writing all Day

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Today I had a sort of half day at work. Got up, took care of work and then I was get started on the projects I wanted to get on to. And man its time to write.

First, I just finished writing all my thank you letters to my fans as well as addressing their envelopes. So sorry to everyone that it took me this long to get to this. I really was slacking, but now I am back on it. I got a little bit disorganized for a bit there.

Jordan Peterson would be ashamed that I didn’t clean my room for a few days.

So sorry, getting that straightened today.

Now that I have the letters all taken care of I’m moving on to todays blog post. Getting this up right now as you read, and once this is done then I will be on to writing raps until the stream tonight.

Hell, with all the rapping I am doing I wonder if I should start writing a weekly article for the paper or something. I honestly think that I could fit it in, I’m already working in overdrive anyways. Besides, I like having no time to nothing but work.

A busy Nolan is a good Nolan.

I also have a hypothesis about my raps, as to why they have started to get much better, especially my free styling. I think all this writing is getting my brain working on another level and that it is remembering more words than I used to. I really don’t have any other explanation. It isn’t like I suddenly got a lot smarter and read a ton of books or something, I think the usage of more words on the daily has been increasing my brain’s mental bank.

I also think that it could be due to the fact that I listen to intensely to lyrics now whereas in the past I did not. That deserves a blog post in itself. When I was in high school I could care less about lyrics, but now it is almost all I care about. If the lyrics are super trash, I cannot listen to it. Now, by trash this does not exclude party rap or turn up music, just things that I find offensive or wrong: which is a wide variety of which many of you would be surprised to find what is and what is out.

Most likely, it’s not what you all would expect.

It was really funny the other day I was chatting with 80purppp and I told him my favorite lines from his songs and replied,

“you listen so well it’s scary.”

I fucking love that hahaha! And I think it is good to listen intensely to lyrics, especially if you are working on your own raps. You can get so much inspiration and technique from the people that you listen through absorption. When I really think about it, my flows summed up would be a mix of Too Short, Tyga, Big Sean, Pouya, G-Eazy, and most definitely Logic. His rapping has had a huge influence on mine. And it totally happened subconsciously. When I was listening to myself freestyle I thought,

“Oh shit I’m going logic mode right now!”

So I recently I started listening to a lot of Logic to study his rhymes so I could work on mine. And dude I fucking love logic’s new album. It’s an absolute masterpiece. But that is its own blog post.

Another rapper whose flows have snuck into my raps is Jay-Z. And dude, I am cool with that. HOV has such a classic sound. I just hope my sound doesn’t sound like a rip-off lol.

And two rappers I wish I could emulate would be Method Man and Mac Miller. Those two are just simply amazing. R.I.P. Mac.

Well, today’s post is a little short as I have even more writing to do, but tomorrow is going to make up for it because it is Sunday. This means it is not the day of rest, but the day of work when Top Shelf and I get in the studio and make a new track. But it’s the most fun work I do, so it’s like rest. I think God will be pleased.

Especially with the messages, the two of us are working very hard to keep our raps real and not full of bullshit.

Time to get at it and like Logic says GET IT DONE.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

Putting in Work

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As this year will soon mark my 4th year as a twitch streamer, I have been telling people in my stream that I now am a “senior streamer” as if it was my 4th year in high school or something. As such, I also have been telling my channel that I am not interested in making the mistakes of the past. Namely, pigeon-holing my channel into viewership based on one game.

To combat this I started playing multiple games on my stream. Call of Duty, Counter-Strike, Rainbow Six Siege, Rust, and others. But what I have realized is that Rainbow Six Siege is by far my best game to stream. I have many people come in to watch and hang out that otherwise do not enter the stream.

So that got me thinking.

I will do a sort of compromise. I will start my streams off with Rainbow Six Siege and play the game for however long I feel until I am getting tired of it (so as to not get sick of the game) and this way I will be able to satisfy my fans by giving them what they want, but also then get my stream rolling so that when I transfer over to another game later in the show I will already have my viewers.

I guess you could say it is a sort of trick.

But hear me out! It really isn’t as sinister as it sounds. Truthfully people watch twitch streamers for who they are, not so much the games the play. However, this is not to say that most people do not click on a show to see a game in the first place. So by playing the game most of my fans are looking for, but then by switching to another game later, lots of them will stay. Now, they might not have decided to come in at the beginning as I was not playing what they wanted, but now that they are watching they are content with my entertainment; which more or less stays static even though I play different games.

Thus, many fans continue to chill in the channel and have a good time watching me play a new game. In fact many fans of mine don’t even really watch. They just listen to me like a radio, so especially in that case the fact that I am switching games does not really matter.

But the point that I realized and that I writing here about is that I need to put some more work into my show. Just like at my day job where there lots of mundane tasks that are not fun but need to be done because they make the job work, so too did I understand that playing Rainbow Six Siege simply is the game that makes my stream work the best.

Thus, I really need to play it a little bit every single night.

Now, I am not going to burn myself out and get too sick of it like I did last year when I was playing 6-8 hours of Rainbow Six Siege every day. That was just way too much. But, I need to meet somewhere in the middle. Not play the game so much I hate it, but play it a little bit so that the majority of my viewers are happy.

So that is it, time to put in some more work and put a new level of dedication to Rainbow Six Siege as my main game for the show. I also think it would be better for the stream if there really is one game that I am extremely good at. Now my stream nows me when I say that my show is not about video games, and that is still something I largely believe to be true, but alas I am on twitch, and there is absolutely no way it would hurt to have one game that I am exceptional at.

I can’t be amazing at all video games, but I think it would be smart to be at least really good at one of them. And when it comes to Rainbow Six Siege I already have demonstrated that I can play at a very high skill level, so now it just takes time for me to play smart, study up, and get that skill back and then some.

Besides, it’s time to make some more highlights anyways.

 

See you in the chat, and keep smiling,

Nolan

Ups & Downs

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Many of you know that I am currently looking for a new place to live. Over this past year I have had the blessing to stay with many different friends and family who have all been so kind to me, but at this point I really just want my own place to call home.

It doesn’t have to be big, but it has to be mine. No roommates. I need to be as Borat would say,

“King of the Castle.”

Now, the issue with finding a place for me to live is not so much about hunting for affordability (though I am trying to spend the least I can) it is rather about finding a unit that is separate and free-standing.

With my twitch show it is absolutely necessary that I have a building with no shared walls. I simply cannot risk taking out a lease only to get a noise complaint right after. Some of you have likely seen me get them on stream, e.g. when a roommate came in my room to tell me to quiet down because I was too loud for them, and I couldn’t hear them due to my headphones.

Not fun. Talk about a down.

Getting my own place has to work for me, which means it has to work for my stream. So far it it just apartment building after apartment building available for rent, which for any normal renter is totally fine. But not for me: I am not merely renting, I am also broadcasting. I know that my stream can get loud, and when I originally started streaming it was in an apartment. I know what happens. So since I am truly committed to my stream for the long term I really need to get the right place for it.

Well, yesterday I thought I had finally found the place. It was a small unit in the back of another house and it was for the most part free-standing. It had a small room in the back that jetted out into patio outside. It was perfect. A small room where I could place my computers that was not sharing any walls with other renters, and further it was a decent spacing away from the neighbors as the patio was a buffer zone. It looked like the perfect place. The son of the owner showed me the unit and I believe he was very happy to meet me. He told me to call the real estate agent for more information and to discuss the application.

Here was an up.

I left a voicemail on the agents phone last night as she did not pick up, but I tried again this morning. She promptly answered the phone, to which I was very excited, but sadly only to inform me that the property had just rented.

And here was the down.

I was more than bummed. I had been looking for quite a while now for the right place to stay, and I have been to a few different units seeing if they would work or not. And many of them have been rather sad to be honest. But this one was nice, it really was a shame that it rented.

But that is how it goes. There is nothing I can do about that now, someone else beat me to it and now it is in the past. Time to get back to the drawing board, AKA Zillow. Everyday I peruse the listings looking for something to pop up.

And what do you know? I found another up.

This building is debatably better. It’s a lot more secluded, free-standing, better parking, and a better price. But currently there is a catch: the owner wants an unusually long lease. Hopefully when I meet with the owner the two of us can make something work out as I really believe the property and I would be a great fit. So cross your fingers and say a prayer that this one works out. If it does that will be a big up, but if it doesn’t I will be prepared for another down.

It’s a rollercoaster at this point.

But I know that eventually it will come to an end when I finally find something that works. And I will be so happy. I just want a place where I can kick my shoes off, do my show, and be “King of the Castle.”

And hopefully own a cat too. Having a pet would be nice. I will be living alone after all. Having a cat would give me someone to talk to.

(Meow)

I just have to stay strong and keep at it. Thought it really does suck getting excited and then getting bummed out repeatedly. I probably need to guard myself more and realize when things are pipe dreams and that they likely won’t work. But, I know that one of these bids will land soon. Hopefully tomorrow’s works out. I really do think I would be a great fit for the place. Either way, I will let you all know.

Thank you for reading, and for all those out there searching for a place to live, especially for your own place, I empathize.

I remember when I was with Alice. She had just gotten her own place at just under 28 years old. She told me that it was really hurting her budget but that she just needed her own place. That was back when I was just under 24 years old. She told me then that while she was not much older than me, what happened in the next few years for me would radically change my mindset and that I would start to understand what I actually wanted in life.

And she was right.

The time gap was small, but it was great at the same time. What has happened to me in the past three years has been honestly crazy. So much. And I have come to the same realization, I need my own place too: desperately. I just do.

When I finally am “King of the Castle” I will let you all know.

 

Wish me luck and I promise I will keep smiling,

Nolan