It’s so easy

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Today’s post is a simple, but important post. It’s about something that many of us human beings will always struggle with: spending money.

It is so easy to spend money.

On phones, on computers, on clothes, on food, on friends, on dates, on concerts, on furniture, on cars, on boats, on homes, on anything at all.

But, if we don’t get a handle on ourselves then we will really be screwed. Remember, that no matter how much money you have, you can spend it very easily. There is always something out there with a high enough price tag that you can easily waste away all that you have come into.

Take Terrell Owens for example. One of my bosses back at BMW actually had his daughter on the same volleyball team as T.O.’s daughter so he got to know the man personally. Small world.

So Terrell Owens was an absolute NFL Superstar who made over 60$ million while he played football. Now he is worth somewhere between 100,000$ to 2$ million. Much less than what he used to be. And why? Because he couldn’t control his spending habits and his life decisions. You truly can have all the money in the world but if you don’t watch what you do with it it will be gone an instant. And then you might find yourself in a new position where the money doesn’t come in like it did. In his case he was a professional athlete who lost the inevitable battle with time and was no longer as fit to play as he used to be.

And we will all lose to the battle of time. That is why we need to invest.

And this means evaluating our desires. Do we really need those things that we think we do? Today I was looking at a little camera pouch for my camera to put in my backpack. I went into a camera store looking for a cover, but I really didn’t find anything that worked that great. The store worker then kept looking for something else that would fit but each time the price was a little higher and then I thought to myself.

“Do I really need this?”

My answer was no, I don’t. So I thanked him for his time but said that I think I will pass on getting another accessory today and walked out. In that moment, and now, I am proud of my decision. Yes, it was only for 20$ or so, but that is 20$ that is still in my pocket. I didn’t need to spend it and I am glad that I did not.

Further, I recently have been evaluating the things that I have thought about doing to my car. I wanted this suspension, and this intake, and this tune, etc. But then the more I thought about it, I really don’t need to spend all that money on extra parts for my car when I have a payment to worry about. Sure, I wasn’t really going to do it and it was something more for me to think about more than anything, but it got me thinking, if I did come into money where I could take care of my payment and then modify my car, that would not really be wise. I would spend all this money on something that will inevitably lose money (cars) whereas I could save it for more useful purposes such as rent and other investments.

Cars are a principal example of something that I enjoy that can and will eat up all my money if I don’t get a handle on myself. I love lots of cars, but I never will be satisfied. And I have started to coming to terms with this such that I now am really starting to love my current car, a 2015 BMW 435i. Now, I always liked my car, but I had a 2015 M4 before it.

Now, that car was cool.

But it was also a lot more money, and also pretty dangerous. Among other things. Unfortunately, or fortunately (life has a strange way of making things work), a man crashed into me and totaled the car. I ended up walking away totally fine (knock on wood nothing happens down the line) and I actually made money off the crash via the insurance company. I also then was offered a job to sell insurance as a result of going through the claims process and then I quit my job in BMW auto sales and passed my insurance test. A ton of other things happened, but that is another story.

But after the crash I got another BMW but this time I decided to get a car that was not as expensive as the previous M4. I do well now, I won’t hide that from you reader, but taking on the M4 payment was a little much. I luckily had the time to re-evaluate my purchase and get something that was easier to manage. And it also has taught me a good lesson too.

It really is about the payment.

If you can afford it, then do what you want. But be careful. What does afford mean? I would define afford as your ability to spend money on things that essentially you don’t need. The type of money you would burn otherwise.

So think about that. Save your money, and if you are going to spend some, think about whether it’s burnable money. If it’s for something that you need, then you have to get it. But if you don’t need it, but you want it, think if your money is burnable.

If it isn’t, save it.

Otherwise you won’t have any left in no time.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

Feeling Loved

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Today I went over to PO Box to pick up my mail. Funnily enough what I was expecting to pick, tax documents, were not there yet, but instead I had a strange letter. At first I thought it was from one of my fans, but then I opened it.

It was written in terrible handwriting, even worse than mine: which is exceptional. It read “I think of you often. God Bless.” And then was signed in a name that I cannot read. I have a few guesses but at this point I think I would rather not know. A number was attached. I don’t know if I will call it.

Probably not.

I’m not sure if it was for me. Probably not, but then again I have fans across the world, so it could be a troll. I think it was probably just a last ditch attempt at love.

I can respect that.

But hey, it was nice getting a letter? Cough, cough, thanks fans for writing me back. But what was even better about this letter was that the sender had cut off stamps from a previous letter that was addressed to him or her (I really have no idea I cannot read the name of the sender, and additionally I will play my cards safe by not judging so you can’t go crazy on me in the comments sections and say I am sexist, haha take that outraged reader I am already one step ahead of you) and then had taped them to the new letter.

Talk about a postage life hack.

Thinking more about it, it looks hilarious. I mean you save 25 to 40 cents, but then you send the equivalent of a homeless letter. And a love letter at that. Not sure if that was best move. I think I would have put a nice new stamp on my love letter that I was going to send.

You know, make it look all fancy.

But hey, I’m not judging here: Just saying. Not everyone is as well versed in the art of the love letters as I am. But I would still say make the letter legible. That definitely is a good start.

So should I write back? It has a return address. I mean this could be my real shot at love. I might not want to blow this opportunity.

But if I choose to not write back, at least I feel loved. I now can tell everyone that I got a love letter.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

W H O A R S E

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Recently I have been streaming like an absolute monster. Four hours every night from 6:30 to 10:30, and often the stream goes over, and then for almost two hours every morning. You mix that in with my day job, my phone calls while I am driving in my car, my normal talking, and then some singing practice, and that is a total recipe to kill my voice.

I have been hoarse for a week straight.

I really need to do something different. I need some more voice rest or I am just going to kill it. So I have been thinking about changing up my night stream. Giving up one hour at night seems to be the only real time I can easily do it as the morning streams are proving to be very successful. I don’t want to take away any time from those, and the night stream is already much longer so that seems to be the only logical time slot where I can cut out some of my talking.

I can’t not talk at work, and I can’t really cut out the phone calls I am making every day, and the singing practice is something that if I can stick to will really pay dividends later on. The more entertaining aspects I can pick up the better for my show, especially since I also play some guitar. Singing goes hand in hand.

If I talk so much that I ruin my voice constantly, I don’t think that is a win. Additionally I no longer even sound like myself, I just sound sick. Arcane came in the stream yesterday for the first time in a few days and that was his first comment.

I seriously need to rest my voice.

I can easily start doing this by just streaming less, but I also need to talk less too. Thats going to be harder part. You all know me, I love to talk. Literally its my individual pastime. And I do it automatically too! That’s the hardest part, it’s not that I consciously am trying to talk a lot, I just do.

I really don’t know any other way.

I guess that makes it a both a blessing and a curse. And I feel blessed that I have fans to talk to, but cursed that talking to them so much is killing my voice. Anyway, I’m droning at this point, but I know that I need to put more rest into my daily schedule.

And honestly I really hate rest.

I just hate the idea of it. I want to go. I want to do. I want be doing something, anything, other than rest. But I don’t get to make the rules of this game (life), so I will just have to deal and play along. So here we go all, starting today I am going to end the stream at 9:30 PM so that I have more time to rest my vocal chords, but I am going to keep working on singing so that while I have less hours live every night, the ones that I do have will be more entertaining.

We are going for quality over quantity.

As we should be. After all, we all that a ten hour stream is not necessarily a good thing in itself. It may just be 10 hours straight of someone being really boring. That makes it a very bad thing actually. Instead of being boring for one or two hours, someone is boring for 10.

I’m working to avoid that by streaming a little bit less. Because I will be real, content gets used up quickly. Once you are out interesting or topical things to say then the show gets stale and in the worst case scenario it ends on a bad note.

I want to end my streams on a high note.

I would much rather have lots of fans wanting more at the end of my show begging me to stay streaming than for do my show for so long that they have already left because they have had their fill and got bored.

I want you to want me more.

 

And with that, Keep Smiling,

Nolan

Temperance 2.0

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Yesterday I wrote a post about temperance, which was a little rushed, and unfortunately today my post is a little but rushed too. The morning streams are becoming such a fun adventure for me that it is hard to stop them such that I have time to appropriately blog, so here I am at the Starbucks patio around the corner from my work typing furiously to get something written for you all to read before I go back to my desk job.

Yesterday I briefly touched on the subject of infidelity in my post about temperance. This is a big issue as today so many people are cheating on their partners. Now this post is written with regards to people that are in relationships. If you are out there and just single and mingling that’s one thing, and this post is not about this. This post is about cheating, and cheating only happens when partners are trusting each other to be true. If there is no agreement to be true, then that is another story. Now constant fooling around can be another article as well, because the lines can surely be blurred as to what you are in the scope of a relationship and people also often don’t communicate, but I will save that for another post.

Back to the post, I want to start it off with a message that a follower said last night in my stream. Czech_Meowt in my chat said,

“It’s the break down of society.”

I could not agree with her more. It truly is so terrible. Once someone cheats there is no way to trust that person anymore. That bond that you two shared has now been broken. I know what this is like as I have been cheated on in the past. It’s a shitty feeling knowing that the person you are with isn’t loyal to you, and worse that they hid it from you.

How can you go back to them?

If you have kids, or shared interests and possessions then things can be much more complicated as you cannot easily walk away. But restoring the relationship is not without incredible difficulty. Making it work out is extremely challenging because if the person that was cheated on wants to take revenge they can any moment.

Let’s say the one who cheated doesn’t text back soon enough, then the other partner can easily say,

“Oh where were you? Were you cheating?”

I know a person who went through this. It’s terrible. It was a mistake long ago, but forgiveness was never granted. Instead a vicious cycle of revenge was created as the one who was cheated on chose to punish the cheater who had since repented. But then the cheater felt terrible and was angry at the cheatee as that person would not let them be forgiven.

This is what happens when cheating is involved.

The stakes are never higher. And honestly its why I think that if cheating happens and it is possible to separate from the relationship more easily (e.g. no kids, etc.) then I recommend it. Because so much damage has been done and can be done, don’t put yourself through that. Just move on and try to rebuild, and if you were the one who cheated, learn your lesson so as not to do it again. And if you can rebuild, then that can be good, but in my opinion it is highly unlikely and it is more likely best to move on.

But also forgive yourself.

People all make mistakes, and by mistakes I mean serious mistakes: cheating included. It’s certainly not okay, but at some point you need to move on with your life and get back to living it. Don’t let a mistake ruin everything else. Now, moving on with your life is likely going to be with a new person, and that will definitely hurt, but that is consequence of what has been done.

And you have to deal with that.

Hopefully this teaches the importance of temperance. The need for self-control, to be able to choose and say no to alternatives. This is so immensely important in the case of relationships. I will tell you all this. Everytime I have been dating someone, no matter how smart she was, no matter how pretty she was, no matter how successful she was, I met other woman that I was attracted to and impressed with.

But did I act on my desires and cheat? No.

I won’t sit here and type this blog and lie and say I’m only attracted to the girl I am dating. That is a bunch of bullshit in my opinion. There are so many great, attractive, datable people in this world, and I am attracted to lots of them. And this is also how I expect the women I date to feel as well. If they told me they weren’t attracted to any other men and just me, I would accept it as flattery, but also as a lie.

Look, I’m cute, but there’s a lot of cute guys out there. I’m not that arrogant or stupid lol.

But back to my main point. It’s just that you need to choose. And both people need to choose this. One person who they want to be with. And that means that when others show up you don’t go with them. It doesn’t mean that you don’t be attracted to them, that is something that is out of your control. We don’t really create our desires, they just happen. But we are in control of our choices.

And that is what attracts me the most.

When a woman consciously chooses me over others. That’s what I really want. Not to have a companion that only thinks I am attractive and no one else is, but rather one that chooses me above others. That is truly special.

And you know,  sure this is sexist I guess because I am stereotyping cheating as happening more on the fault of men than women, but seriously guys,

KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.

If you have someone in your life that is precious to you, and is amazing, and worth keeping. Show that. Don’t betray that trust. Learn how to be temperate, to control your desires and in doing so be able to foster a great relationship instead of compromising it just to have another fling.

Remember, life is about choices. And if you want life to be good, and not full of stress, you will need to make some. And I understand that those can at times be very difficult and also often paired with sadness. You can’t date everyone, and that is sad because as I said there are lots of amazing people to date, but if you want to make a serious relationship with one, you will necessarily have to decline others.

But that is the way that you will be able to have a truly great one, and in the end that will be worth it.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan