Feeling Happy but also So Sad


Today was a big day for me.

I got approved for my first apartment, all by myself and only for myself. So it has been quite the rush. Calling all the utility companies to get myself setup with electricity, gas, and internet, as well as looking over my floorpan and figuring out what furniture to buy etc.

Thankfully my parents happened to be in town this week, so the fact that this all happened now couldn’t have happened at a better time. (Honestly, the fact that they were present during this team frame likely is what really influenced me to work so much harder at finding a good place.) Anyways today after work I met my parents at IKEA and we shopped around the place looking for things, as my parents could give me a nice opinion.

I’m sure they had a great time watching their son grow up even more.

But the strangest thing happened to me as we paced around the store. Out of nowhere,

I had suddenly become so sad.

And it took me a little bit of time to get out of my funk, and not before I feel like I infected my father with my disease and I got him in a little funk too. That’s the fortunate or unfortunate thing about emotions, they are infectious: sometimes good, sometimes bad.

After some thinking, I think I realized what had happened. Getting my own apartment was something that while I am happy for, it was something I never wanted to do. Earlier this year I was living with a close friend of mine, and it really looked like the two of us living together could potentially have been a really great thing for both of us. When I started living together with him I was very excited, it looked like nothing could be better. I thought it would be a real win-win for both of us.

Unfortunately it just didn’t work out that way.

So I packed up and moved on out. We are still close friends, nothing happened such that we aren’t still in contact or anything, it just didn’t end up working out. And I think that came back to me today as I realized that now I was going into my own place. I’m moving over to a neighboring city, but that enough was a decent enough change for me to start reflecting (at least emotionally) on everything that had happened.

Sometimes you really wonder why things in life just didn’t work out.

That could be jobs, relationships (platonic or romantic), hobbies, living somewhere, anything and everything. And sometimes things just don’t work out. And that is sad. But there really is truth to that every door that closes leads to another one that opens. In that moment it may be tough to think about that, but the last door has already been shut, so it’s time to move forward and open the next one.

And that’s where I am at now.

I’m closing that door behind me, moving on from this last chapter of my life, and starting a new one. And with that change I feel some regret, some sadness, but also some happiness and excitement as well.

It really is a mix of emotions.

And in this time I really am thankful to have my parents down here with me. They live in Oregon and they come down to visit California about 3 to 4 times a year. I really am glad that they were here while I went through all this. Moving can be really tough, just logistically, but even further, emotionally. Changing what place you call home can bring up a wide array of emotions and in this time I am so glad my parents were here for emotional support; even if nothing much was said about it.

Just knowing that they were down here made me feel so much better.

Good luck to anyone reading that is moving, or is going through a change in your life. It is a new chapter and what happens is the unknown and the unexpected, but don’t let that intimidate you. You will have to face it no matter what, so you might as well pick yourself up out of your funk/fear and embrace it head on. Sure, sometimes that is much easier said than done, but that is what having good friends and family is for. Keep them close to you and in these moments you will see how much they are worth.

And for those of you who don’t have anyone, keep your head up as well. Your road is much harder, but hopefully if you keep on pressing down it, it will lead you to a new chapter where you will find friends and family such as that.


Good Luck & Keep Smiling,



There is always a better deal


Recently I have been looking for a place to rent. And I have been checking Zillow, Apartments.com, Forrent, Westside, and Craigslist every single day. About a week ago I found a place that was really cheap. The cheapest place in the area I was looking at by far. But when I looked at the ad it didn’t have any photos of the inside and thus I concluded that it must not look that great. Further, it didn’t have any parking.

So I decided to pass on it.

But as I kept looking at other places and at the prices of them, which were higher, I decided to give the other place a shot and check it out. I reached out to the property management company and got the contact information of the tenant that lived there so I could arrange for a showing. We planned to meet on Sunday but when the day came and I was driving around looking at places with my folks I decided to pass as I didn’t want to waste their time.

The next day I thought that I should have checked the place out anyways so I arranged for another showing and I said that I would actually show up this time. The next day I woke up early to see the studio and when I did I was unbelievably impressed. The unit was on a third story with a real panoramic ocean view and a balcony. I could not believe it. Sure I was going to have to deal with street parking, but hey the price could not be beat. I instantly called the landlord and offered to put even 6 months rent down if he wanted, so to claim the place for my own.

But it was too late. It had been rented yesterday.

A woman came in on Sunday to check out the property and was also so excited about it she applied the very next day and was approved. I was out of luck. And deservedly so. I didn’t take action so someone else did.

I can tell you, I was thoroughly disappointed. Had I just given the property a chance on Sunday, and actually showed up like I said I would, then I would have known that despite the bad photos the property was a good place to rent.

But I didn’t even give it a chance.

Afterwards I ate breakfast with a friend and he told me just like my Dad had as well, that something better will pop up.

“Once you think you missed out on the best deal, another one comes along.”

I said sure okay, nice words to hear at least because I was feeling down. I then hopped in my car and headed to work and browsed through some listings and scheduled to check one out during my lunch break. I went and visited one place, it was really close to my work so that was a plus, and it was very nice, but it was a tad pricey. I looked at it as the place I would choose if I just couldn’t find anything else. But I decided that I would go give this other place I had seen a look at. The pictures on the internet were definitely wanting as it had the same problem as the previous listing,

there were no photos of the inside.

But this time around I said who cares. Checking it out wouldn’t hardly take any time and if it was bad I could be on my merry and way and if it turned out to be good I could put in a rent application. And what do you know, it turned out to be good. Nice spacious interior, with most utilities included, tons of natural light, prime location, a balcony with a view, and a covered parking spot right underneath the unit that had room to park without fear of scratching my car doors! And only a six month lease, at a decent price too.

I really was surprised. I told the building manager who was showing me the place that I would love to apply and fill out the rental application. He said he had a good feeling about me and that if I moved in by March 1st he would even give me a slight discount on the rent. I said that I would love that. The sooner I could move in the better. That same day I filled out the application.

Fingers crossed.

As I type this blog post now, the landlord is running my credit and then will get back to me afterwards as to whether I have been approved or not. And while things are looking good, there is no guarantee that I get the place or not. If I do, I do, if I don’t I don’t. But I do know this now.

That whenever you think you have gotten the best deal, there always is another one that comes around the corner.

And don’t let this make you hesitant to pull the trigger and rent a place or what have you, otherwise you will be perennially waiting, but don’t let it get you down if you quote miss out.


Happy Hunting & Keep Smiling,


Busy day.

Today has been quite the day. I woke up early to check out an apartment, then ate breakfast with an old friend. Then off to work. During lunch I checked out two more places. Then it was back to work while I simultaneously filled out an application and ate the lunch that I wasn’t able to devour on lunch break. Now I’m wrapping up work while I’m exercising the workplace rabbit (not kidding lol) before running off to a family dinner. Then it’s time to stream and then off to bed early because tomorrow I do taxes with my folks.

But I finally found time to write a post.

Keep Smiling,


It’s a small world


Yesterday night, I was about to get home and every night before I finally get there I stop and talk to the security guard. Yes where I live currently at my friend’s place there is a security guard.

Bourgeoisie: I know.

But, I always make a point of stopping and talking to the people that work there because I see how so many of people that live there just drive right on through without giving a fuck to the people who work there everyday who actually keep their neighborhood safe. You would think these people would be a bit more thankful wouldn’t they? Anyways I know almost all of the guards by name now and we always catch up and talk about our days when I come in.

Yesterday I was talking to Julie about what had happened over my weekend and she was telling me about hers. She works hard. She’s only 18 years old and working two jobs full time. She has an impressive work ethic, and she doesn’t have to work that much, but she does. I really respect her drive. Anyways we chat a lot when I pull up and many cars that are coming in just go around mine as Julie waves them in.

Then this one blue Audi with blacked out windows passes me. I look at those and just say

“that’s illegal tint.”

I look at Julie and ask who that is as she knows all the residents of the neighborhood by name. She says his name was Ryan and then I instantly knew who it was. It was an old friend of mine that I went to school with! I say keep smiling Julie and I’ll see you tomorrow. I gas my car and chase Ryan down.

When I pull up next to him he had no idea what was going on and who I was and then I asked him if he remembered me. He couldn’t place it right away but when I said “Nolan” he went nuts. The two of us got out and caught up for hours. Turns out both of us had done car sales, he still does them actually at Audi currently. I went inside and met up with his folks too as I hand’t seen them in a long time and turns out his father plays golf with my boss at work.

What an even smaller world.

After more talking, finally I went up the street and headed to bed, and I fell asleep in a good state of mind. It was really nice to catch up with an old friend and further to find out that we were even more connected than I thought. It really is strange how small the world is and how moments like this can happen if you just talk to people.

Had I never decided to talk to the guards everyday I would not have met Julie and I would never have known that my friend Ryan was back living in the area.

But thankfully I did.

So cheers to the small world that we all live in, and I highly encourage you to seize those moments when there is a chance to reconnect with someone from your past, you don’t get those too often, and you never know what might come of them in the long run.

You just might make a new old friend.


Keep Smiling,