My new schedule

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Recently I had an experience that made me re-evaluate my streaming habits. I just got a new idea for a stream bit comprising of taking calls so I had been reaching out to specific people that I wanted to bring on the show. I was talking to Danny about the idea and the show and how I was doing it everyday. He then said,

“What happens if you meet a girl?”

I replied,

“I’m trying really hard not to.”

to which he said,

“Yeah, but’s always when you meet her.”

Truer words have never been spoken. Literally 30 minutes later I’m driving through Redondo Beach and I run into this girl that I went to school with. I rolled my window down and looked her, she looked at me, both probably thought,

“Wow.”

So we exchanged numbers, and it’s not like I asked her out explicitly but at our age what else are we doing exchanging information. Right then my Dad was actually on the phone, in the car while this happened and he told me,

“Nolan, you need to take some days off from your show. Once any girl finds out that you work full time and then you do your show seven days a week for 4 hours at night, she isn’t going to want anything to do with you. You won’t have any time at all for her. And besides, you are going to burn yourself out. Right now you have all the energy in the world, but if you keep it up that’s going to change.”

My Father was totally on the mark. And I am not going crazy in my head thinking anything will necessarily happen with this chance encounter with this woman I ran into, but it made me get serious about my current schedule. Right now I have no time for anyone, and the way I am doing this is not healthy. Now, I am not going to change my main goal which is making my show make it; I won’t abandon or hurt that for a second, but I have to be real with myself. If I don’t take some time off so that I have the chance to meet someone for a date, or hang out with a friend or family for dinner from time to time then soon I am not going to be in a good mental state.

I have been there before. Back in Oregon I was totally alone.

I had a fantastic job that made plenty of money, but I had very few friends to spend anytime with. And the ones that I had lived far away from me so it was not easy to hang out with them. I finally realized that I needed to be back in Southern California where there were people to interact with. The money wasn’t everything.

So too with my show. It is my favorite thing in the world to do, and it is what I committed to, but if I don’t allow some time for my social life then I am going to get depressed and maybe even really bitter. How am I going to feel if I meet a truly awesome woman but I don’t get to know her because I work myself to death?

Probably, terrible.

In fact one of my close friend’s friend made this exact mistake. He started working so much at his new job that after about a year and a half of it it ended up costing his marriage because he didn’t have time for her anymore.

Was that really the right move?

So thus I have decided to change my stream schedule to five days a week instead of seven. I will be live Monday through Friday on twitch.tv/nolantv but also at a new time. Because a good amount of my original fans are all from the East Coast because that is where I started streaming originally, moving to the West Coast has been problematic for them. When I go live at 7:30 PM for me it is 10:30 PM for them. And they have jobs, school, etc. They can hardly watch me all. But, if I move my show one hour ahead to 6:30 PM then it is 9:30 PM for them when I go live which is not so bad. This allows them to catch a solid 2 hours of my show pretty easily. And I do my show for my fans, so I need to make sure that I can have it work best for them.

Otherwise I am being a shitty entertainer.

As for the weekends, I am taking Saturday and Sunday off. This way I can have some days to hang out with family, friends, and dates potentially. If nothing is going on for me though then I will be back on my show at the same time. Or maybe even earlier if I decide to give live for some extra hours. But officially, I am not going to be scheduled for those days. Youtube Hell will be moved to another day of the week, not exactly sure what day, maybe somewhere in the middle like on a Wednesday. We will see, stay tuned for updates.

So wrapping up the post, I am making sure that I am treating myself right in a sustainable manner such that I don’t get too absorbed in my work such that I end up quitting altogether. Burnout and depression are real things so one needs to make sure that you stay on top of your grind in a healthy manner or it will get you.

To tune into the show just stop by twitch.tv/nolantv Monday through Friday from 6:30 PM to 10:30 PM Pacific Standard Time. 

I will see you there.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

“You can’t please everyone”

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This is a quote from Danny, with whom I just spoke on the phone.

Today I realized something. Something that I have been told time and time again over the years, over my whole life really. It’s the simple lesson that

You can’t please everyone.

We all know this, but that is only in our heads. Actually living up to this creed is very hard. Especially for entertainers. We are the type of people that want everyone to like what we do, and we want to put a smile on every person’s face.

But this is not possible.

I came to this realization through listening to the Howard Stern show. If you all didn’t know I am a huge fan. His show is so wild, so funny, and so authentic. I really recommend listening to it if you have not.

Anyways, a huge part of the Howard Stern Show is his workers and his guests. The people that actively work as part of his show, e.g. the writers, sound men, etc. all are frequent guests on the program which has millions of daily listeners. And all these people at this point are their own established celebrities in their own right due to the success of the show. So naturally, they all love their air time and they want to me on it.

Particularly, Memet.

Memet is one of my favorite characters on the show because he is smart, but also because he just fucking whines all the time. It really adds a lot to the show to be honest. Because, the rest of the crew always rips him and it’s simply hilarious. One time they were ripping into him because Memet wanted to be on the panel all the time as a fixed guest and Howard was telling him that he only got to be on the panel if he had something to contribute. He said something along the lines of,

“Memet I like you, but this is my work. This show has to be good and has to be entertaining for the fans. If you have something of value to bring to the panel then I am happy to bring you on, but if you don’t then I can’t have you. It’s not personal, it’s just business. You have to pull your weight.”

This really hit me hard. Because it made me think about a blog post and stance that I took on a few weeks ago. I made the decision to only solo queue because I did not want to have any of my fans feel left out from my show. I was so concerned with not hurting people’s feelings that I decided to not play with the fans that I enjoyed playing with the most.

At the time I thought this was the right move. Now I think differently.

And here is why. After listening to the Howard Stern Show for a few hours last night I decided that I too would start bringing guests on my show. This way I can add much more commentary to the show such to make it more interesting and entertaining as well as have more for myself to riff off of, something I am naturally very good at.

So I kicked off the night by taking a call from Sras. And it went very well! I had a great time talking with her and her presence added a whole new element to the stream. But then it happened. Another person in the chat asked if I would take their call.

Right then and there I realized that I could not take everyone’s calls.

And because precisely of what Howard said to Memet. Not everyone has something particularly interesting or good to say and as good content is the core of the show, I need to make sure that the people that I do bring on to the show actually have something to contribute. It was the solo queue follower game problem all over again. But in this case it really hit me. If I decided to take calls from followers after this realization then I was willingly abandoning quality content for my channel in order to not hurt some people’s feelings.

And this is not fair to the loyal fans of mine who watch for my content every day. I do my show to give them the best content possible, so I knew I had to make a decision. I called my Dad. He said to me,

“Nolan, this is just as if you were a baseball coach. You might love all your players, but if one of them isn’t performing you need to cut him or trade him. It’s not fun, but that’s just what happens in the nature of the sport. You need to do the same with your show.”

And that advice was what I needed to hear. And I already knew it.  But I was just reluctant because I know that some of my fans are going to be hurt by my decision, especially when some of them that might think that they will get to be regular talkers on my show won’t get that chance. And in that moment, I can tell you. I will feel terrible.

But as I said before, this is my Senior year of streaming. So this time, I am here to do it right. And if I hurt some people’s feelings, that is really unfortunate. It is the last thing I ever want to do. But I need to bring the best content I can to my show that I approve of, and I have to live by the creed that we all know is true,

“you can’t please everyone.”

So tonight I will break the news to the channel. And I will also reverse my decision of not playing with my fans. I will just play with who I want. And no, I am not being inconsistent with my old blog post. In that post I was wrong. I hereby declare that post as not my current view, I have come to a new understanding. I see where I was in that moment when I wrote it, but now I have realized that I was not putting my stream’s best interest at heart, but rather other people’s hearts at heart. And that is not a healthy approach to streaming, but also not something that can ever be satisfied.

I can’t please everyone no matter how hard I try, so I need to make sure that I can please myself and make a show that I believe to be entertaining. And for those that get to be part of it more actively through the discord and the call-ins, thank you for making my show spectacular. For those that don’t get to be part of the show in that regard, I hope that you still enjoy the show that I make and that it doesn’t discourage you from being part of the chat and the viewer base. I will always greatly appreciate your support. After all, it doesn’t go anywhere without those just watch it.

Thanks for reading this post everyone, this post is a heavy one for me to write. But it had to written, and we will move forward with this stream onto to 2019.

 

Keep Smiling,

Nolan

 

 

The Simplest thing.

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Ever since I could remember my Father always encouraged me to greet people whenever I ran into them.

To anyone and everyone. To that person I crossed path with down the street. To the person that was standing next to me in line. To my friends at school, to my teachers, to my neighbors, to everyone that I could.

He told me that it was such a simple thing, that could make all the difference in the world.

And he was completely right.

One day many decades ago my Dad was going to get his box of donuts. He was an independent wholesaler and his signature calling card was a pink box of donuts. He would always bring it to his favorite customers and of course, close the deal. He routinely had a box ready for him at a local bakery in San Pedro and he would stop by in the mornings and pick it up.

But this day was different.

As my Dad was walking into the store he crossed paths with a huge, scary-looking, black man.

Now reader, I avoid talking about race unless it is absolutely necessary, lest I want to stir up controversy, but trust.

My Father looked like your average white male. Not too muscular or anything, just looked like he worked a regular job and had a regular life. (Though my Dad was, and is, far from that lol) Anyways, this man that he crossed paths with was huge. Big, tough, and as may dad described, a just real mean-looking guy. The kind of person that you just don’t want to run into. The type who could just break you into two pieces without breaking a sweat.

You know what my Dad did when he saw him?

He greeted him with a great big smile, said “Good Morning!” and opened the door to the donut shop for him. 

My Father told me the man looked at him with an expression that he would describe as a look of half scowl, but also of half surprise. The man went inside the bakery without saying a word to my father. My dad then followed inside into the packed bakery.

Now my Dad always had his box of donuts at the end of the counter waiting for him, as it was prepared ahead of time since he had a business account with the bakery, so unlike the Man with whom he had just spoken to, he skipped the line and went to pick them up.

Then this happened.

The Man seeing that my Dad was just in and out picking up his donuts and that he was about to leave the place in a just a minute said this across the room, to which everyone in the entire place could hear.

“Hey! I really appreciate you greeting me this morning.”

My Dad could tell that the Man had been incredibly moved by him. He replied,

“Wouldn’t it be nice if everybody did that?”

The Man replied back with a statement that sounded full of disbelief, in that he had never thought about a world where something like this was the case. He said,

“Yeah, it sure would.”

My dad then picked up his trusty box of donuts, and left the bakery. But not before he looked at the Man again and said his signature line,

“Keep Smiling!”

My Father always told me that the Man, the same scary looking monster of a human being, took on the biggest smile he had ever seen and laughed.

 

My Father has never forgotten that moment, nor have I. The story struck such a cord with me that when I recount it, it is as if I was there in the bakery. And I remember it so vividly because of how important the story is, and what it means.

I really hate race. I really do. It’s such a shame. I just wish it wasn’t so. I hate how people think because of my background (being a white kid) that I think this and that I think that about other races. And that other people think this and think that because of their race or about other races. They don’t know me. I don’t know them either. Why can’t we just wait to judge until we get to know people?

I hate it.

I grew up in an area where I was truly fortunate. There were lots of people from different backgrounds and us as kids never ever even thought about race. To this day two of my best friends from First Grade are Chinese and Indian. I currently live with my Chinese friend and his family as I write this post.

I can truly say that growing up I was color-blind.

But as you get older, you see race. And you see the stereotypes and how people judge others. And you cannot get away from it. It’s everywhere you look. It’s on the streets, it’s on the news, it’s in how people speak, how they look, and even how they move.

And this was what probably happened every day to this Man. He looked like the hulk, he was already scary because of his sheer size, and then you add on that he was black and people likely were judging him every day thinking he was a bad dude, and in a gang, or some other kind of bullshit because of his race. He probably would walk down the street and routinely have people, likely whites, just bow their heads in fear, or worse walk to the other side of the street.

Can you imagine how that would feel?

I bet it was beyond terrible. And then after that happened a few times, he probably got angrier and angrier because likely the guy was super nice inside! But everyone judged him by what he looked like and what they thus associated with him based on his appearance, and he probably hit a point where he thought,

“well if they think I’m a monster maybe I will just be one.”

From that point on he probably carried that scowl with him everywhere he went.

Until he met my Dad.

I cannot say this for certain, but based on the reaction that this Man gave my Father and from the account I have been told, there is a high degree of probability that the Man was thinking or feeling something along these lines. He probably saw my Dad walking to the bakery door, as was he, and thought to himself,

“Another white guy who thinks I’m just a mean, up to no good, black guy.”

It is so sad, but it is so deeply understandable. How could I even begin to argue with the sentiment? I know how people act. They act in that way. They reinforce these terrible stereotypes through their mannerisms every day, through things like ducking their heads and looking down at the side-walk when they would walk past him. And you know what? I understand why, they are scared because of the stereotype. But they should replace their fear with courage. Stand up straight, and instead of looking at the ground, look them in the eye and do what my Father did.

Do what this Man thought was unimaginable. Something that nobody ever did to him. Something so easy that anyone could have done it, but no one ever did. He just simply greeted him with a smile and said,

“Good Morning!”

And that struck deeply. My Dad always told me he knew that that was a moment for that man. After all, he shouted to thank my Father all the way across the packed bakery. It’s those kind of remarks where someone says something across a room, with no regard to what’s happening around them, when you know it meant something. They have something to say, and it is so important they say it, no matter what others think.

And what this man had to say was simply,

“Thank you.”

 

All people want to be acknowledged. We humans are social beings. We live amongst each other, and thus we should communicate with each other. When we don’t that is a terrible thing. Sometimes being ignored is the worst feeling in the world. There are times where I know for a fact that I would rather be hated than ignored. At least someone would be paying attention right? That’s why my Father said hello to everyone throughout his life and why he encouraged me to do the same.

Everyone is important.

And you can easily let them know that, just by saying hello. Your comment just might make their day. Or maybe their week. Or maybe their month. Or maybe even their entire life. And you just might be able to tell when it does.

My Dad knows for a fact that that Man never forgot that moment. And my Father never did either. Both of them carried that with them for the rest of their lives. And in that moment I know my Dad made a difference.

Imagine if everyone did that.

And is it really so hard? There are many projects out there where people say “imagine if we all pitched in!” But honestly, those projects often require a tremendous amount of effort, and it is just impractical to assume that everyone would pitch in and help make it a reality.

But here? This is easy.

Every one of you reading this has the power to acknowledge someone. There is no monetary deposit required. You don’t need to sacrifice anything. Just the next time you see someone, wherever you are, say hello to someone.

It is so simple.

And for those of you that are scared of talking to other people, I understand. I have been there before. But you know what? The more you talk to to people, the easier it gets, and soon it will come naturally. And further, you will make so many friends! People will be awestruck by you. You will be the light in their day, especially if you live in a small community where you start to see someone of these people regularly. You might even get to see the snowball effect that happens when you radiate kindness.

I tell you, kindness is infectious.

Other people will take notice. The fact that you extend yourself to them and acknowledge them will strike a chord. So many people have no one in their lives. They go to work and go home and anyone outside of those circles never says a word to them.

Until you.

Just trust me on this. Put yourself out there and say hello to people. You will be surprised with what happens.

And you just might be able to change the world one “good morning” and one “keep smiling” at a time.

 

Go out and acknowledge others, and Keep Smiling,

Nolan

Writing in Advance

 

address-adult-african-1061576For a while now I have been posting a blog each day, but often at different times. This is honestly a problem. I really need to make sure that I post a blog every day at the same time that way people know they can read it. Imagine if your newspaper showed up at a different time every day. You would not only stop reading it, you would likely cancel the subscription.

People need routine.

And I completely understand this, as I stream at the same time every night on my twitch show, however when it comes to my blog I have been incredibly lazy. Couple this with my inability some mornings to get up in a timely fashion and then voila you have the issue of me posting at random times. I mean honestly it’s going to be 5:50 or so most likely by the time this blog post is posted. And that is if I write it quick.

I need to get into a better writing routine and start posting every day ideally in the morning maybe around 8:30 or 9:00. Not sure which of the two times, but I will choose one soon. Now some mornings I get up and I am tired or I have to do something, should I just post later? No! What do I do then?

Write blogs in advance. I really cannot believe I didn’t think of doing this until now. And honestly I think it was because I liked the idea of getting up every single day and starting it off with writing a post. Yes, it is very poetic and sounds pleasant, but life happens and the days just do not always work out that way.

Take tomorrow for example, Niki and I are going snowboarding. How the hell am I going to write a post tomorrow at all? By the time I get back it is going to be time for my twitch show. Thus I knew I needed to write a post in advance. And this is how I got the idea. It’s like they say,

“necessity is the mother of invention.”

But then it got me thinking some more. Why don’t I do this more regularly? Often there are times when I am on a roll and there are so many things I am eager to write about. That is really when I should write about them. The moment I write down the idea to write about for a later date I have just doomed that blog post to being not nearly as good as it would be had I written it in that moment of inspiration.

And besides, then I wouldn’t have to worry so much about writer’s block.

That’s a real thing by the way. I can’t imagine the pressure for paid writers who have to churn articles out every day. What happens when they are stuck? Well, they are fucked! lol.

At least for me this blog is something that I am the complete boss of and while yes I understand writer’s block to a degree, because if I don’t post everyday then I will start to lose my following so it is necessary that I work at this, it isn’t quite the same as having my ass on the line.

But nonetheless, some days I know when I am writing a post that it is total filler and not at all as good as the last post or one of my previous ones. This is why I encourage everyone to take action and plan. Be smart about what might happen in the future and prepare yourself for. Do not just wait until the last second and then be caught off guard.

So today I am going to write another post immediately after this one, while I am inspired and while I have the time to do so. Then I will publish it tomorrow bright and early and ideally keep my training running from that moment on. So while tonight was a late read, rise and shine at 8:30 AM tomorrow or so and read my new post. It’s going to be a good one all.

 

Thanks again for reading and keep smiling,

Nolan