The New Addiction

ducttape face

Every day I watch my VOD (video on demand) from my twitch stream the prior night. (Live Streaming every night at www.twitch.tv/nolantv btw) I do this so I can myself check the quality of my channel and honestly evaluate whether my stream looks good, if there are audio issues, and especially as to whether I am entertaining or not.

I work hard to keep myself honest.

Watching myself these past few weeks I have noticed one major issue that seriously bothers me about myself and my show. It is my constant usage of the “L-Word.” What is this “L-Word” you might ask? Oh, you have no idea, but you already do.

It is one of the most pernicious words in the modern English vocabulary. Its sinister generation hails from the Valley of the West Coast, nestled in the Golden Brown Hills of California. It is none other than the word

LIKE.

I mean, it like is like the like you know the like like word like LIKE.

I cannot stand this demon of a word. It single-handedly turns the smartest of individuals into the most bumbling of fools. It absolutely ruins serious speech with its childish nature. Now, I know everyone says it, and because of which many people reading this will say to me,

“Nolan, it is not a big deal. I have even heard politicians at this point say the word. It is just part of modern speech.”

To that objection I will at first agree. True, everyone says it, but I will then counter: Have you tried not using it? Commit to not saying Like when you speak, and pay attention to how much more intelligent, eloquent, and authoritative you sound. Your points have much more force, your words do not come off as unserious. And this cannot be sincerely argued against.

You just come off as less intelligent the more you use Like.

And further, because everyone says this word, the bar is currently very low. Never has it been easier to sound so much smarter than your peers with such minimal effort. I reckon that if you cut the word like out of your vocabulary completely it will raise your IQ 30 points. Not saying Like is tantamount to wearing a clean suit, glasses, and sitting in the figure four position while listening to classical music as you wait in the lobby of a Fortune 500 company for your merger proposal. It just reeks of both intelligence and professionalism.

This is because speaking coherently without filler words is a breath of fresh air. People today use fillers such as um, yeah, like, for sure, you know, in their sentence structures daily with constant repetition. When one encounters someone that does not speak this way, it is impressive.

Like is the new addiction.

I remember when it slipped into my vocabulary in middle school. I had a speech coach back then, Mrs. Weinberger, and she absolutely despised this word. Rightly so. She did everything in her power to cut that word out of my vocabulary, and she was very successful. But unfortunately she moved to Washington with her husband and I have not had any contact with her since; consequently bad habits returned with a vengeance and the word has crept back into my brain and since has metastasized into my tongue.

Such a foul virus.

But this time around I am committed to purging it. I will defeat Like. Just like I have committed this time around to my show, I am committed to eradicating like. I will consciously think about my speech every day and monitor the usage of like. It is time to end this.

I put too much effort into my stream and especially into having intelligent things to say and offer to have this single word act so destructively against what I am trying to do. Imagine reading this post but that like was every other word in the blog.

You would laugh.

Most of you who have made it this far and probably enjoying this post (I hope at least) and further are likely impressed at the vocabulary of it. This is because of my usage of five dollar words, and not garbage ones such as Like. See there, I refrained from using the other sense of the word Like. I decided to just go with “such as.” I’m working very hard to quit this addiction.

Why not sound as smart as I write when I speak?

That is the whole point. I am done shooting myself in the foot through uttering this trash word. I hate it more than anything. I don’t normally do these, but this will be my New Years Resolution. No more Like.

End of story.

 

Keep Smiling, and for the love of God don’t say like,

Nolan

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