I find that it is fairly easy to fall in love with ideas. And this can be good, but it also can be very dangerous; chiefly because ideas can often not be real. Sure, it might be nice in theory, but is that how it really is? Or how it really will be?
I thought about this a lot today in the car listening to a song that I had never heard before. It was an electronic pop EDM style song, and while I did not particularly like the drop, a few words really hit me. The artist sang something like
“I’m not sure if I’m in love with you, or if I’m in love with the idea of you.”
That’s when I started to reflect. It is easy to think about ideas and then get lost in them. Ideas of what love is, or what being a man is, or living up a certain creed, or how to be cool, etc. Often times these ideas aren’t reflection of how we are, or how we really should be but yet we try to live up to them.
This can make lead to bad scenarios. For example, someone is told that if you are in a relationship you should do X, Y, and Z, or that you should feel T, U, and V, but you don’t want to do any of those things or even feel the way you should. But yet, you feel that you cannot act this way because it does not fit into the “idea” of what love is.
Voila you have a recipe for disaster. Because, then you aren’t being you. And when you aren’t being you that is a problem. After all, you only know how to be you. So just be you. I get it though. It can be tough to be you when the ideas that are out there (in your head, your family, your society, etc.) are things that you only fail to live up to. Sometimes it can cause a source of guilt. Other times it can cause you to live a double life.
But these are for another post, another time.
To sum up, the song really hit me clear. You shouldn’t fall in love with an idea. You should be falling in love with the “Rea,” something real. Focus on reality, even if it may not conform an idea. Maybe then that idea isn’t worth keeping.