I’m Done with Social Media…Again

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Today I made the decision to remove all my social media links from my blog as well as the decision to no longer use them. This includes Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, facebook, etc.

I remember back in High School I wrote a poem about the dangers I predicted that would arise from social media. I will have to look for it and see if I can recover it. I remember I made a blog for it titled “preening narcissism” and the poem was about how social media allowed users to put themselves at the center of everything and make it all about them.

My poem went something along the lines of

I have my iPod

I have my iFriends

I have my iStories

Welcome to my iLife.

Now I can’t remember exactly how it went but it was based on the repetition of the “i” construction that has been used by Apple. But I do remember what I thought then and that further I was right. Over the last decade since I wrote it (back in 2008-9) society has drowned itself in social media and the results have been disastrous. Many people have begun to put fake experiences, fake photos, and fake friends, at the center of their lives. Dinner is no longer about enjoying it, it is about taking a photo of it. And we all know the person who has stopped everyone in the middle of an activity for a photo. Back in the day that photo would be for a memory for everyone to look at later, but now we all know that that photo is so the person who wants it looks good on their social media. It really is not about everyone…

And I didn’t even bring up the addictive element of it! People are glued to their screens updating their social feeds every ten seconds just to see if something new happened or there is something to like.

And I know this because I have been there. I too became addicted to social media where I enjoyed posting things and garnering likes. Soon it was no longer about showcasing my life and my fun things but rather almost like a bragging of sorts and I soon developed the need to post. This was where I got in trouble.

I ended up making a dumb post in particular that cost me my relationship at the time. And while it was not the sole factor for the break up by any means, it was entirely avoidable and done because of my need to post. What a garbage value.

I have learned the hard way about how social media is unhealthy and causes problems and I am sick of it. Ever since taking my break from social media, and this time entirely on my terms, I have been feeling better. It is freeing to not look at feeds 24/7 and to use all of that time and enjoy the life that is right in front of you.

Besides, removing yourself from social media also helps prevent you from becoming a narcissist. Something I will note that it is easy to become if you have a social media account that does decently well. The more accustomed you get to receiving likes and admiration for everything you post the sooner you become used to that behavior such that you quickly become the center of everything. And then voila other people and their needs/desires no longer become visible to you, and that is an absolute train-wreck waiting to happen.

As my man Lil Uzi Vert says, “Erase your social.”

 

Keep Smiling & follow the blog,

Nolan

 

Working like a dog

A week ago I started working at my new job on a political campaign. Ever since I started I have been hitting the ground running and working as best as I can every day. And I have been loving it. Having my boss give me tasks and then achieving them and going beyond the set goal has made my days extremely enjoyable. I’m honestly very thankful for the work opportunity that I have been given. I truly am enjoying it and it is so fascinating to learn first hand how a political campaign works.

In fact I have been so busy lately that I haven’t posted on my blog in a hot minute. I need to work on my time management a little bit more. Oh well, each day at a time! I will currently be heading out to work today in about 10 minutes.

I’m excited to get back at it and to keep killing it! Working like a dog may tire me out physically some days, but it also gives me a different sense of energy that comes from the accomplishment I feel from doing so well.

Time to get back at it,

-Nolan

Day 1 on the Campaign

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Yesterday April 17th, 2018 I worked on a political campaign for the first time. And it was very fun. I had never worked on a campaign previously so the whole ordeal was a major learning experience.

The day started off with meeting Kevin, the man who hired me, and other members of the campaign team. I was briefed with a talking points about our candidate, who I will write a blog post later on, as well as information about the area we would be canvassing that day.

Soon my boss Colin and I were out in Fountain Valley knocking on doors informing likely voters about our candidate and inquiring as to whether they would support him or not. Many responses we received were positive, but there were a few refusals. Though I will say, we had no problems. There were no crazy interactions with people and I did not get chased by anyone’s dog. Yet.

One older Vietnamese guy said that I was very handsome. That totally made my day. It also made my bosses day. He thought that was the funniest thing. That’s my new goal, to get as many people as possible to say that I am handsome. Vote for Nolan, hes so handsome! See I have my slogan already.

We hit a little under 100 houses yesterday, and today my goal is to easily break that and try to get to about 120 houses each day. My goal is to do a seriously good job on this campaign trail and then see where this all takes me. I have to say that canvassing, while it is grunt work, it is satisfying. Going door to door and actually meeting the people of America that vote and make our political system what it is is very eye-opening. To many out there, they think that the individual’s vote does not count and that no one makes a difference. While I understand what those people are saying, as there are so many voters, knocking on each houses door shows that each person’s vote really does matter. That is precisely why we are there to canvass neighborhoods.

At the end of a long day, I felt very good about myself. Participating in America’s political system was very satisfying and meeting so many people and having conversations about my candidate and their views was very interesting and kept my brain engaged. I really enjoyed talking with people that were not very interested in my candidate because I did my best to argue his case and see if I could change their minds. While it is great to talk to people that agree with my points and views, that is easy. The challenge of talking to the other side is more fun, and additionally it keeps me honest. When you preach to the choir endlessly you tend to lose your real reasons for your views. No one questions why you believe these things so after a while you forget why too. But if you surround yourself with people that question you it keep you honest.

So what I am saying is, I actually enjoyed knocking on the doors of those that disagreed with my candidate, which is something most canvassers I’m sure hate. But then again I am on day two of work, so I still have lots of energy and hopefulness. We will see how I feel after getting bit by a dog!

 

Keep Smiling, Subscribe to my Blog, and get out and Vote!

Nolan

 

Make sure you are all on the same page

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Over these next days and weeks a good portion of my posts will be influenced by my past relationship. Unfortunately it did not work out, and thus my goal now is to analyze where it went wrong, and especially pay attention to my mistakes so that I do not repeat them in the future.

The first problem that arose in my last relationship may seem like not a big deal to some of you reading. Bear with me. I too thought that this was not a big deal when I first thought about it, but I now I understand how it was.

The terms Girlfriend and Boyfriend can mean vastly different things to different people, and especially to Girls and Boys. To me, Girlfriend used to mean exclusivity, e.g. that you were not seeing anyone else. This definition did not necessarily imply seriousness to me. For example you could have a casual girlfriend or a serious girlfriend. To my girlfriend, as I had called her such, this was very different. To her the term Girlfriend necessarily implied seriousness and was thus almost a sort of miniature engagement: a commitment to a longer and more serious relationship that would continue into the future for some foreseeable amount of time.

As you can tell, these definitions that my ex and I held were very different. Problems were bound to arise just from this fact. Now we did not know that problems were going to occur because we both thought that each other likely had the same things in mind when we thought the terms Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Unfortunately, that was not the case and things then began to change.

My ex began to look far into the future and started having reservations about my current life state; my job, where I live, my hobbies, etc. This then came out one day when she dropped all of her concerns on me and it hit me straight out of left field. I thought that things were great, turns out they weren’t. I was very surprised and I did not know how to take it because I thought that we were dating and that we would figure out if we wanted to stay with each other as time passed and as we grew as people ourselves. I had a very open idea as to what the future may have held for us; I was not thinking of any long term plans. I also add that nor was I discounting any long term plans either. I was simply just letting the relationship ride.

It turns out that I should have never called her my girlfriend if this was what I wanted. The more I have talked to other girls in these past days, many of them share my ex’s view that the term Girlfriend does carry significant weight. One of my good male friends suggests that it may be beneficial to ask women in the future if we are Exclusive before taking the step of Girlfriend, as that is what he often does.

I am leaning towards this way of thinking now, more and more every day to be completely honest, but I also still feel comfortable with the idea that you can have a girlfriend of boyfriend but still have the relationship be casual. I think relationships become serious over time. Making them serious can cause strange things to happen and then have them turn sour, when maybe if left alone to run their course they may have been really great. However, I mostly agree with my ex’s view now. The terms boyfriend and girlfriend do carry weight, and most importantly regardless of what I thought before or if I disagreed with my ex’s view, it seems that the majority of women think this way, and since I date women I had better shape up and act accordingly. My advice is to use the terms girlfriend and boyfriend more sparingly, and for relationships that are more serious. I have found that using them when a relationship is in its casual stages can be very destructive and I wish I had not.

Now regardless of whichever definition you hold, whether that is mine, my ex’s, or your own, it is very important to make sure that whoever you are having a relationship with is on the same page with you and your views. If the two of you are not, problems are bound to occur. It is much better to have things out in the open and be clear about them. Now I realize this is much easier said than done, as in my case I didn’t even think about this problem until after it had happened, and further I understand that communicating properly and effectively can be very difficult as I failed to do this adequately as well. That will be another blog post which I will write very soon.

I wish everyone good luck in their relationships and make sure that you are all on the same page so that you can avoid problems of confusion. At first it may seem harmless or minimal, but anything that changes a person’s attitude or way of thinking about another person in a relationship has far reaching consequences as it can mean the difference from one day feeling like the person you are with is proud of you and crazy about you, and then the next day you feel like they are embarrassed to be around you and that they don’t believe in you. And when things like this are happening in a relationship, do not be like me and fail to communicate. Get it out there are try to work through it. And even if that does not work, that is infinitely better than letting the problems continue and have the relationship die later.

Problems do not magically go away. If you do not actively work to solve them they will fester and just get worse. The feelings that are truly being held will not remain hidden, they will come out some way or another, consciously or subconsciously and they will damage the relationship. I will write another post on this subject very soon. You truly cannot bottle up feelings. And if you try, it only works for so long until that bottle bursts. So don’t do this, just communicate.

Now it can be hard to do this, and I understand as again I have failed to sack up and communicate when I needed to, but that does not change the validity of what I am saying.

Make sure that you are on the same page, and if you think that you are not, communicate and make it so. And if you cannot, then maybe it is best to go separate ways so that the both of you can find someone else who is on the same pages each of you already are.

 

Keep Smiling & Please Subscribe,

Nolan